I'm too young to die!

Poor old Left 4 Dead. Just over a year old, and already consigned to the backseat of history by Valve’s uncharacteristically headlong rush to sequel-dom.

Well we’re not quite ready to let go, chaps – as befits the PC version at least. Here are some reasons to put off uninstalling the original zombie co-op FPS for a few months longer.

Because Left 4 Dead wasn’t broken, hasn’t been fixed.

Bit of an obvious point, this one. Left 4 Dead is still utterly, utterly fantastic, and worth experiencing alongside its younger sibling. Those soggy North American forest, industrial and residential maps aren’t getting any less gripping or well-balanced. It’s a whole five quid cheaper than Left 4 Dead 2 on Steam, too.

Because Valve’s keeping its word as to downloadable content.

OK, they took their sweet time bringing out Survival mode, the new “Crash Course” campaign and Versus functionality for the original maps, but Valve seems to be building momentum on the DLC front. We downloaded a 4v4 matchmaking update only a week or two back. Watch this space.

Because Left 4 Dead now boasts hundreds of custom maps and campaigns.

There are plenty of prolific would-be Valve employees out there, it seems. This writer’s favourite custom maps include Claustrophobia, a cramped, two-storey Survival arena featuring some stunning broken wood geometry and shadows, L4D Dust 2, for all the Counterstrike freaks in da house, and Who’s Laughing Now?: The Evil Dead Cabin, a bastard hard homage to Sam Raimi’s stuffed-crust B-movie classic.  Hunter Training is great for putting a little extra spring into your pounce.

Custom-campaign-wise, you might want to consider this Silent Hill remake, or this sequence ripped from Resident Evil Outbreak File#2. Cream of the crop, though, is Death Aboard, which takes you from the depths of a prison to a gloomy dockyard and onto a precariously balanced ship. Fans of the surreal should check out Night Terror and its daring hot-air balloon rescue. Gadzooks.

Because you can stuff all the original game’s content into the sequel.

Those lynch-pins of the underground code-breaking scene at L4Dmods have figured out how to transfer all Left 4 Dead campaigns (and, excitingly, custom campaigns) to Left 4 Dead 2 – well ahead of the release of Valve’s official SDK.

Hold on though, doesn’t this make the first game rather redundant, we hear you protest? Ah, my son, but you’ll need a fully paid-up, squeaky-clean legit copy of both games to pull the trick off. Plus a bit of technical know-how, naturally. And the patience to endure a fair few non-crippling bugs. Hit the link for a tutorial, and check out the video evidence below.

Because Zoey is way fitter than Rochelle, innit.

Look, let’s not beat around any bushes here (after all, one of them might contain a Boomer). If we had the chance to leap into the sack with either of the Left 4 Dead ladies, it’d be pasty girl-geek brunette Zoey all the way. Rochelle’s too respectable for our unhygienic, society-averse tastes. She’s a TV producer, for God’s sake. Plus she wears a Depeche Mode T-shirt (admittedly it’s got a stencil of Gordon Freeman on it). Stupid establishment chick.

So what’s keeping you glued to the original Left 4 Dead, oh well-informed reader?

1. Left 4 Dead PC mall campaign goes live Or should that be "un-live"?...
2. Left 4 Dead gets Tellytubby zombies Time for Tubby bye-bye....
3. Unreal Engine 2 mod Out of Hell hits web One-man attic coding endeavor puts majority of big budget shooters to shame....

Click here to view the embedded video.

If Jesus Christ were still in the miracle business today, and had chanced to lay his hands on a copy of Unreal Tournament 2004, the results might look something like Long Nguyen’s long-awaited solo project Out of Hell. Forget “water into wine” – any mod that can make a five-year-old first-person shooter engine out-perform most recent equivalents is Biblical material indeed.

Out of Hell courteously invites you into the town of Grinwood, lately plagued by the walking dead. Broken up into 15 maps, it’s a plausibility-soaked exploration of classic zombie horror cliches like abandoned motels and carparks. You’ve got 10 weapons – five of them up-close-and-personal, five marginally less so. We like the sound of pitchforking somebody through the nostrils.

The mod’s 100% free to download, but you’ll need something a little meatier than the average 2004 box to power it: a Core 2 Duo E8200 at 2.66 GHZ, three gigs of RAM and a Geforce 9600 GT 512 MB, for preference.

Screens here, survival guide here, install FAQ here. Just to reiterate, everything on show (less the music) is the work of one man. Ye gods.

1. Just Cause 2 hack: tie everything together, everywhere A brave new vision of an elasticated world....
2. Left 4 Dead gets Tellytubby zombies Time for Tubby bye-bye....
3. Dark Mod turns Doom 3 into Thief, sort of Out with Martian demons, in with eerie clocktowers....

Click here to view the embedded video.

Thanks to years and years of undead-themed gaming, we all know how to put down a zombie plague. But what’s the best response to a mass Tellytubby infestation? Answer: much the same.

Our only excuse for not featuring this brilliant Left 4 Dead mod earlier is that LevelSkip didn’t exist at the time of its release. Not good enough.

Download the mod here.

1. Left 4 Dead PC mall campaign goes live Or should that be "un-live"?...
2. Why Left 4 Dead shouldn’t be left for dead Left 4 Dead 2's out. Is it all over for Francis, Bill, Louis and Zoey? Not on our watch....
3. Unreal Engine 2 mod Out of Hell hits web One-man attic coding endeavor puts majority of big budget shooters to shame....

Halo-jumping: officially the campest thing you can do while holding a gun.

Oh Don’t Stop Trying? Owl Dysentry Stifles Trust? Old Dogs Shoot True? Who knows (Wikipedia, that’s who), but here are some Achievements to divert you while you scratch your head.

All Ears (30) Find 15 Audio Logs, alone or with another ODST.
Audiophile (75) Find all Audio Logs, alone or with another ODST.
Be Like Marty (10) In Firefight, finish a full round without killing a single enemy.
Boom, Headshot (5) Get 10 automag headshot kills in any level.
Both Tubes (5) Get 10 Rocket kills on Kizingo Boulevard.
Campaign Complete: Heroic (100) Complete the Campaign on Heroic difficulty.
Campaign Complete: Legendary (100) Complete the Campaign on Legendary to unlock a new Firefight character.
Campaign Complete: Normal (100) Complete the Campaign on Normal difficulty.
Coastal Highway (50) Complete Coastal Highway on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary to unlock a new Firefight mission.
Dark Times (5) Kill 5 enemies while using VISR mode.
Data Hive (50) Complete Data Hive on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary to unlock a new Firefight mission.
Dome Inspector (5) Get 15 headshot kills on NMPD HQ.
Ewww, Sticky (5) Get 5 sticky grenade kills in any level.
Firefight: Alpha Site (10) Score over 200,000 points in Firefight on Alpha Site.
Firefight: Chasm Ten (10) Score over 200,000 points in Firefight on Chasm Ten.
Firefight: Crater (10) Score over 200,000 points in Firefight on Crater.
Firefight: Last Exit (10) Score over 200,000 points in Firefight on Last Exit.
Firefight: Lost Platoon (10) Score over 200,000 points in Firefight on Lost Platoon.
Firefight: Rally Point (10) Score over 200,000 points in Firefight on Rally Point.
Firefight: Security Zone (10) Score over 200,000 points in Firefight on Security Zone.
Firefight: Windward (10) Score over 200,000 points in Firefight on Windward.
Good Samaritan (20) Do not kill any engineers at night in New Mombasa, alone or with another ODST.
Gumshoe (10) Find the 3rd clue unraveling the mystery, alone or with another ODST.
Headcase (5) Finish any level with at least one Skull activated.
Heal Up (5) Find the first Medical Kiosk and heal yourself.
I Like Fire (5) Kill 10 enemies with the Flamethrower on Data Hive.
Junior Detective (10) Find the first clue unraveling the mystery.
Kikowani Station (30) Complete Kikowani Station on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary.
Kizingo Boulevard (30) Complete Kizingo Blvd. on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary to unlock a new Firefight character.
Laser Blaster (5) Get 10 Spartan Laser kills on ONI Alpha Site.
Listener (5) Find the first Audio Log.
My Clothes! (5) Plasma Pistol Overcharge and quickly kill 10 Brutes.
Naughty Naughty (5)    Kill 10 engineers at night in New Mombasa, alone or with another ODST.
NMPD HQ (30) Complete NMPD HQ on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary to unlock a new Firefight character.
ONI Alpha Site (30) Complete ONI Alpha Site on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary to unlock a new Firefight mission.
Pink and Deadly (5) Get 10 Needler supercombine kills on any covenant.
Stunning! (5) Stun a vehicle with an overcharged plasma pistol and quickly kill the driver.
Super Sleuth (10) Find the final clue unraveling the mystery, alone or with another ODST.
Tayari Plaza (30) Complete Tayari Plaza on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary to unlock a new Firefight character.
Tourist (5) Access and download the city map to your VISR.
Trading Down (5) Trade weapons with a fellow character.
Tuned In (15)    Find 3 Audio Logs, alone or with another ODST.
Uplift Reserve (30) Complete Uplift Reserve on Normal, Heroic, or Legendary to unlock a new Firefight character.
Vidmaster Challenge: Classic (25) Finish any level solo on Legendary, on LIVE, with no shots fired or grenades thrown.
Vidmaster Challenge: De’ja` Vu (25) Complete Highway on 4-player Legendary LIVE co-op, with Iron, and no ‘Hog or Scorpion.
Vidmaster Challenge: Endure (25) In Firefight, on any mission, pass the 4th Set on 4-player Heroic LIVE co-op.
Wraith Killer (5) Kill all Wraiths in Uplift Reserve.

1. Need for Speed: Shift Achievements Achievement Points are why God invented the Pagani Zonda....
2. The Beatles: Rock Band photo and art unlocks The Fab Four's secrets revealed....