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"Team Fortress 2" for a Pacifist

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A Little of Useful Backround on the Game

Team Fortress 2 is a team-based, multiplayer, first-person shooter video game developed and published by Valve Corporation in 2007. It is a very popular game and has been ever since its release. It continues to grow, with updates bringing new maps, player balances, and many more new things to the game all the time. It is always improving and getting better.

In TF2 players join one of two teams comprising nine character classes battling in a variety of game modes, which include capture the flag, and the ever-famous king of the hill. Each class in this game is equipped with their own range of special weapons and physical advantages and disadvantages. There are many reasons why this game is as popular as it is, one of the reasons is the option to not play the actual objective of the game and to just fool around, and waste time having fun.

So if you're a pacifist and want some nonviolent gaming fun, don't overlook this game. Sit back, grab a sandvich, and start-up TF2.


Friendly Heavy

Heavy is one of the strongest classes you can play in the game. Especially if you have a good medic at your side ready with that Uber. However, not everyone uses him as the killing machine he is. Being a Friendly Heavy is extremely fun and fairly easy once you have the items you need; most of these items come in drops but they can also be bought if you are an impatient pacifist.

The items you need include:

  • The Sandvich
  • Holiday Punch
  • And a few taunts will help but they aren't necessary; The Laughing Taunt or The High Five Taunt is the best.

And that's everything! Now you can get started with your load-out, which I will, of course, help you with.

First, set your Primary weapon as the Tomislav, or any one of the weapons you have, but do not use it unless you are aggressively provoked. Your Secondary weapon should be set as the Sandvich, and your Melee weapon must be set as the Holiday Punch. Now you are just about ready. You can, if you want to, change the way your Heavy looks also, it isn't really needed, but it could help if your Heavy looks really cool or really cute.

Your behavior as a Friendly Heavy matters just as much as your loadout, for instance, if you run out at full speed, gun at the ready, people are going to shoot you down. Equip either your Sandvich or Holiday Punch and start crouching, don't just walk or run, if you are crouched enemy players will know that you do not intend to fight or pursue them.

The best way to be a Friendly Heavy is to hang out at the enemy's base and throw out Sandviches to every person you see. They may need the health, but watch out, they could also take the Sandvich and kill you just for fun. Also, go and punch a few people, the Holiday Punch won't hurt them but will send them into a laughing fit instead, (you must punch them in the back for it to work).

The Heavy may look like a big, angry bear but with this information, you can turn him into a cute, angry bear. Now go out there and spread the friendly!


Jarate Toss

Sniper is one of the more passive-aggressive classes, he hangs back in his hideout waiting for his moment to take the shot. Some people do play him more aggressively though, they run about with their machete out ready to take a few heads off. As sniper you can help your team without having to hurt anyone yourself. All you will need is a Jar of Jarate, and some good old fashioned bravery.

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Jars of Jarate are dropped quite often so there is no need to buy one. Once equipped, you can throw the Jar at either teammate or enemy. If thrown the Jarate will coat anyone in its splash area. If you see one of your teammates is on fire, coating them with the Jarate will put out the fire and may save their life, however, throwing the Jar at an enemy will coat them in Jarate, your teammates will be given mini-crits, and will be able to take them out easier

So you can rank up points, help out your teammates and possibly win the match all without hurting anyone. Yes, you do cover them in Jarate which makes it easier for others to kill them, but you yourself are not doing any damage. Which should make you feel better about doing it.


Take a Trip to Pyroland

Strap on those Pyrovision goggles and take a trip to a place where everything is made of candy, bubbles, rainbows, and laughter. This wonderful place is called Pyroland. Pyrovision goggles are a drop item that can be worn by all classes, but is best on the Pyro; paired with the Rainblower, set as a Primary weapon, and the Lollichop, set as your Melee weapon.

The Pyrovision goggles replaces all the health pickups on a map with pieces of cake or buckets of candy. On some maps, everything gets changed from its original design to the Pyroland design. Grassy hills, rainbows, and a dream fog around the edges. Another addition that comes with the goggles is that whenever someone dies, they go out in a great laughing fit!

When you pair the goggles with the Rainblower and the Lollichop, it just adds to the effect, and takes you deeper into Pyroland. The Rainblower is like the Pyro's Flamethrower only, instead of flames, it burns your enemies with rainbows and bubbles. The Lollichop is basically a giant lollipop that you hit people with.

I know this is all sounding quite violent, but just think about it for a moment. How can you hurt someone with rainbows and bubbles, and who would mind being hit with a giant lollipop? After all, they do laugh when they die. Pyroland is a place where everyone wants to be, so you're doing them a favor by taking them there with you. Don't feel bad about it. Just tap the G key and show everyone your Unicorn taunt.

When you have the goggles equipped the ordinary gore of battle is replaced with the warm, sunny land of the Pyro. Where your fire is rainbows and bubbles, all of your enemies get a lollipop and its almost impossible to stop laughing.

Conga Parties!

The Conga is an action taunt for all classes. This taunt is not a drop item and has to be bought if you want to own it, but you can use it if you don't buy it. As long as someone else has bought it and starts using it.

When the action taunt is activated the player starts moving forward slowly while dancing to a light, repeating drum beat. You can still move your character with the strafe keys, but if you press the jump or action button you will cancel the taunt.

This is a really great addition to the game as, unlike most of the other taunts, anyone can join in across the whole server, not just two people. If the player who originally started the taunt stops the other players can continue with the taunt as long as they want.

There have been some incidents where the whole game has been halted and a truce called, in the name of a Conga Party. You can try to call for one on the chat, and see if someone has the taunt and wants to party. If you don't have the taunt yourself. If the whole server doesn't feel like having a party and they just want to kill everyone else, then just settle for a small party with a few dancers. Most players may leave you alone if they see that you are having a Conga Party, however, others will just care about ranking up points and just kill you anyway.

But don't let them spoil your fun! Just keep dancing and partying.

The Conga taunt is not the only dance taunt out there but it does seem to be the most used. Other dance taunts include:

  • Kazotsky Kick
  • Mannrobics
  • Thriller Taunt

The Thriller taunt is a special Halloween taunt and can only be used on Halloween or on special Halloween servers. All players can do the thriller taunt, which refers to the song and dance, Thriller by Micheal Jackson. There is a 60% random chance when hitting the taunt button that the taunt will activate, as long as you don't have a weapon equipped that already posses a taunt.


That's All Folks

That is my list of ways to have fun on Team Fortress 2, even if you hate violence. Now obviously there are more ways to play the game without hurting other players. Like Medic! However, I did not mention any of these because, in my personal opinion, the methods I mentioned are not only the best but they provide the most nonviolent fun.

Let me know what you think and remember: Team Fortress 2 is free on steam!

© 2017 Sinaed Commins

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