Jeremy enjoys dueling and casting spells in between working as a chemical analyst and campus building manager.
In the world of Digimon (digital monsters), benevolent and speech-capable Digimon unite with humans to defeat dark monsters across the land. Most Digimon can "digivolve", temporarily turning into stronger monsters to combat evil.
There are six ranks of Digimon, which roughly indicate the creature's power: Baby, In-training, Rookie, Champion, Ultimate, and Mega.
Some Digimon look pretty cool, others have much more, uh, unusual appearances; today, we'll countdown the ten strangest digital monsters!
Okay that was what they wanted me to open with, but I'm telling you, turn back now! You don't want to see the light at the end of this tunnel.
Don't say I didn't warn you. We'll start off tame with everyone's favorite gun-welding dinosaur, Commandramon.
What do you mean you've never heard of him? Haven't you ever watched Casablanca? Here's shootin' at you, raptor? No? Fine. Next.
This ten-headed monster is named Sephirothmon in Japanese, a pretty cool reference to the Sephiroth, ten supposed attributes through which God is revealed. These attributes include Power, Wisdom, Understanding, Kindness, Severity, Beauty, Eternity, Splendor, Foundation, and Kingship.
And I hope you liked hearing those nice words, because with what we've got ahead in the list, they ain't gonna be getting used again.
Next, the Champion-rank Nanimon. I swear this is what guys at my high school looked like. He's supposedly an invader from another dimension, and just listen to the names of his attacks: Poop Attack, Poop Dunk, and, simply, Poop. Hey, those are the things the guys at my high school said, too!
In the anime this buffoon was quickly defeated by getting him drunk on sake. Keep away from alcohol, kids, or else it'll defeat your enemies and solve all your problems. Thanks, Digimon!
With an unknown rank, Ganemon appears more interested in amassing wealth than battling. He's got many stereotypical features of a businessman; mustache, thick eyebrows, top hat, suitcase, a handful of money. And eyes. Never trust a businessman with eyes.
Looks more like the next Monopoly mascot than a Digimon, but that's just my two cents.
It's hard to imagine a popsicle-wielding penguin could attain Mega class, but it happened. Dual-wielding his chilling weapons, Daipenmon serves foes their just desserts. Okay, I'll cool it with the lame jokes.
Who would have guessed Blue Raspberry would ever pose such a threat?
5. Sistermon Noir
Like any good nun, Sistermon Noir wears a cat hood and carries twin pistols to fight evil. She's only a Champion; apparently in Digimon, popsicles are stronger than guns.
Speaking of which, she named both of her guns Anthony. Why? Well, apparently Anthony means "flower", so.. there you go?
In case you can't tell, this weird creature is a ninja with a television for a head. An eerie monster - Monitamon are best known for stalking their targets. It's said that if you spot one watching you, you can bet there are thirty more hidden nearby.
Pretty creepy, huh? To make matters worse, these Digimon can instantly share information between them. It's almost like.. they're electronically connected or something..
It's not too late to turn back (trust me, you don't want to see what's coming up).
A drowsy demon koala, Phascomon has wings, but seems incapable of flight, probably because of that enormous noggin. Still, his claws can tear enemies to shreds and are capable of paralyzing victims.
Thankfully, this weird and malicious monster isn't commonly seen, only appearing in a few video games. Call me crazy, but I can't see him getting green-lit for the show.
I just don't know anymore. Cho·Hakkaimon, a Digimon with a random dot halfway in her title, was once an angel but was banished from heaven for an unknown crime. She probably angered God with her stupid name, if you ask me.
Anyway, now she wanders Earth, doing her best to find her purpose while permanently donning a, uh, pig costume. Nice.
Speaking of "bakin", one of ol' Cindy Lou Who here's attacks involves her setting herself on fire, then hugging (and roasting) her victim to death. Again, I'm telling you, they based these things off people at my high school.
Look, I'd really advise the pregnant and faint of heart to turn away now, because up next we have..
Sweet skies above, am I even allowed to post a picture like this?
For those who haven't plucked out their own eyeballs yet, this guy is like encountering the most demonic and distorted Easter Bunny imaginable. His face is weird, his belly button disturbing, and his gender uncertain.
The facial expression looks masculine to me, but Betsumon cosplays as Gatomon, a female cat from the anime whose appearance doesn't make me want to gargle cyanide.
Anyway, Betsumon wields two attacks. One is a simple punch; the other is titled "Cold Gag". What's it involve? I have no idea, maybe he showed someone his baby pictures and named the move after their reaction.
Normally here I'd invite you to share your vote for the weirdest Digimon, and say I'll see ya at our next countdown, but today..
Today I'm just sorry you had to see that.
Jeremy Gill (author) from Louisiana on January 09, 2017:
You're right, Sarah, Mercurymon is an alternate form of Sakkakumon, who is known as Sephirothmon in the original version. Good eye!
Sarah Anderson on May 28, 2015:
Wasn't Sephirothmon called Mercurymon in the anime, or at least the dub? Because whenever people hear the name Sephiroth, they usually think of Final Fantasy VII.