101 Signs That You’ve Been Playing Too Much Minecraft
1. You’ve tried getting wood by punching the trees in your backyard.
2. You’ve tried mining for coal in your backyard.
3. Reality suddenly isn’t cubic enough.
4. You’re disappointed that real saplings take more than a few hours to grow into full-sized trees.
5. When dusk falls, you panic, run home, and pray you don’t run into any zombies.
6. You arrange office supplies in groups of 64.
7. You get angry that dirt doesn’t float in real life.
8. You’ve tried gathering saplings in real life by beating leaves with sticks (and other tools)
9. You’re on the “all bacon, all the time” diet.
10. You always carry a backpack of tools with you everywhere you go.
11. You’ve reached the size limit for all of your worlds.
12. You have an entire chest (in game) filled with records.
13. You don’t need to look on Minepedia to know the exact number of uses you can get from a given tool.
14. You have an entire chest (in game) filled with diamonds.
15. You’re saving up for a diamond pickaxe (in real life)
16. You’ve carved a series of two-meter high tunnels under your home (while looking for coal and iron.)
17. You’ve built your own crafting workbench in your garage.
18. You’ve painstakingly gathered enough spider webs together to make something vaguely resembling a brick (and you plan on painting on it once it has a proper frame of sticks!)
19. When you yell “CREEPER!” all your friends duck or scatter.
20. You’ve tried every possible option on the Painterly Pack Customizer.
21. You’ve spent whole days doing nothing but building things on Minecraft.
22. You check Notch’s blog daily just to see if there are any new updates.
23. You’ve taken up cactus farming (and you don’t even live in an arid area.)
24. You think of the ecology of the world in terms of Minecraft biomes.
25. You go into rock shops looking for Redstone.
26. You pray night after night that, when you die, you won’t go to the nether
27. You wouldn’t mind going to the nether as long as there’s an obsidian gateway there (and you have flint and steel.)
28. You can’t understand why your wooden pick axe won’t break through solid stone.
29. Your solution to saving energy is to go dig for lightstone.
30. You dream in pixels
31. You’ve installed a pressure-plate for your front door.
32. You honestly believe that you can just gather lava in a bucket and carry it back to your forge.
33. You leave the house genuinely angry that you haven’t found enough clay in your world to make a house (yet.)
34. You’ve exchanged your real bed for one made of stone and wool.
35. You’ve dug down to the bedrock (in your own backyard.)
36. You STILL don’t understand why your wooden pick axe won’t break through solid stone.
37. You gather mushrooms believing that, as long as you make stew with one red one and one brown one, it will be edible.
38. You scour gravel driveways for flint.
39. You’ve gathered sand and put it in the oven in the hopes that it would turn into glass.
40. You explore local caves hoping you’ll run across a mob spawner (and mossy cobblestone!)
41. You’ve recreated famous monuments (and buildings) in Minecraft
42. You don’t believe trees have roots or branches, only logs and leaves.
43. You take solace in the fact that Minecraft weather never changes.
44. You know every bug (and you’re always one of the first players to exploit them.)
45. You feel safe as long as you have a door between you and something that wants to kill you.
46. You’ve gathered enough obsidian to build your own real-life nether portal (and you can’t understand why it doesn’t work!)
47. You miss your pig spawner
48. You’ve seen Herobrine.
49. You have a Minecraft-themed tattoo
50. You’ve written Minecraft fan fiction
51. You’ve read (and critiqued) others’ Minecraft fan fiction
52. You’ve made minecraft block-themed decorations (and put them up for the holidays)
53. Your business card includes a line like “Minecraft Master.”
54. All your friends play Minecraft
55. Your dog plays Minecraft.
56. You’ve been inspired to start your own farm (but can’t understand why it doesn’t take care of itself.)
57. You’re learning coding just to make mods for Minecraft.
58. The biggest open pit mine in the world was built by you, in Minecraft.
59. You don’t bother to dig up Redstone anymore.
60. Your Minecraft worlds have been developed into huge, sprawling cities (and no one else is playing on them.)
61. You’ve panhandled with a sign that says “will Minecraft 4 food”
62. You dream of having a job digging ditches.
63. You’re constantly emailing Notch about things he should add into the game.
64. You’ve created Minecraft fan art.
65. You’ve taken the time to create papercraft art of Minecraft.
66. You support authors of articles about Minecraft (like the author of this article) by visiting their sponsors through links like those near the top of this article.
67. You’ve laid more track in Minecraft than has ever been laid in America.
68. You can scare your friends by sneaking up behind them and hissing like a creeper about to explode.
69. You wish every day was update day.
70. You’re learning to speak Swedish (in the hopes that you’ll get updates and rumors faster!)
71. You go from door to door asking people if they’ve heard about “the miracle of Minecraft.”
72. You revere Notch as if he were a god.
73. You believe all foods are best when cubed.
74. You’ve downloaded Minecraft music onto your MP3 player (and you listen to it while you work.)
75. You have multiple Minecraft accounts (and play on them simultaneously.)
76. You’ve eradicated all the monsters in the Nether (and built it up enough that they can’t spawn.)
77. You inspire people by telling them that the world is their Minecraft– they can build anything!
78. You’ve built more full-sized, non-functional vehicles than Leonardo da Vinci could ever have dreamed to draw.
79. You doodle blocks and new structure ideas on notepads when you’re on the phone.
80. You visit the Minecraft forums hourly.
81. When you get together with your friends, the first topic to come up is always Minecraft.
82. You’ve become a professional griefer.
83. You can find your way out of any spawn jail.
84. You’re depressed that your watch doesn’t just say when dawn and dusk are (but you’re crafting one that does.)
85. You start to believe that, in the real world, your spawn point is somewhere far, far up North.
86. You can’t understand why punching sheep in the real world doesn’t give you wool.
87. You start doing bizarre things in the game (like importing stone from the nether and turning your main world into the nether instead.)
88. You feel compelled to start playing around with gunpowder and TNT in real life.
89. You have plans to make the sun more. . . square.
90. You’re building a powerful laser in order to write “MINECRAFT!” on the moon.
91. You contribute trivia to the pages on Minepedia.
92. You can out-creep a creeper.
93. The idea of finding big gold nuggets in real life doesn’t excite you anymore.
94. You catch yourself going to the hardware store looking for iron ingots and sticks.
95. You remember Indev.
96. You start getting really skinny (because you don’t have to eat food to stay alive in Minecraft!)
97. You start drawing durability bars on your yard and garden tools.
98. You’ve killed more than your fair share of Spider Jockeys
99. Minecraft is no longer just a game for you.
100. You make at least one comparison every day between the way things work in the real world and the way they work in Minecraft.
101. You write lists and articles about Minecraft.
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